Saturday 29 July 2023

Wishdom is more able than Power

     Kandagupta was a famous saint. He lived in the outskirts of Maninagar, which was the capital of Manipur Kingdom. There were very few who did not know about the wisdom of Kandagupta. He was also known for his fortune telling. 

    Maniraj who was the king of Manipuri came to know of the feats of Kandagupta. He wanted to pay respect to this great saint. So, he invited Kandagupta to his palace. 

    When Kandagupta arrived, Maniraj welcomed him and offered him a seat. Then, the king asked the saint to tell something about his feature from his horoscope. 

    After a keen observation into the king’s horoscope, Kandagupta started telling the future boons to be blessed upon the king. The king was so happy. He kept on rewarding the saint with gold and silver for every boon told by Kandagupta. 

    Now, came the time to say the future misfortunes. The whole outlook of Maniraj started to change. At one point he shouted, “Stop! You filthy soul! How dare you say such nonsense! I order you to say me the time of your death". 

    Kandagupta replied in a small voice, "My lord! According to my calculations, my death will take place just an hour before thy death". 

    The king was stunned. He felt his error. He begged pardon from Kandagupta and sent him off with furthermore wealth. 

Moral : Wisdom is more able than power.

Energy is the key to productivity, not time

     Learning how to perform at high levels for extended periods of time is a very valuable skill. As Tony Swartz in his paradigm shifting book The Power of Full Engagement put it:

"Energy is the key to productivity, not time."

    You can have all the time in the world but if you don't have the energy to do what you want; all the time doesn't matter.

    Building a deep reservoir of energy you can tap into when you need it, is one of the highest leverage things you can do to create a more successful and fulfilling life.

    Some people believe that performing at high levels consistently is something only the lucky enjoy. Or that you must work out for hours each week and eat the perfect diet to get any return for your efforts.

Neither is true.

Anyone can learn to increase their energy and performance when they employ effective strategies.

It can be as simple as a 7 minute ritual.

You can invest seven minutes in yourself each day right?

Try this simple ritual out for three weeks.

You'll notice how much it raises your energy, channels your focus and raises your performance.

7 Minute Morning Ritual:

Minute 1:

  • Stand up, place your feet shoulder width apart and close your eyes.
  • Rest your hands by your sides and feel your feet connected to the earth.
  • Feel the force of gravity connecting you to the earth.

Minute 2:

  • Keeping your eyes closed, take several intentional deep breaths in through your nose. Fill your lungs from the bottom up.
  • Feel your chest rise and fall with each breath. Smile.

Minute 3:

  • Empty your mind.
  • Put your tongue on the roof of your mouth and pay attention to the rise and fall of your chest. Let go of any tension.
  • Become aware of the beat of your heartbeat.

Minute 4:

  • Sit down.
  • Close your eyes.
  • Project yourself along your timeline to the end of the month.
  • Ask: What 3 goals did I achieve this month that were key to creating my dream life?
  • Write them down.
  • Then see yourself achieving them.
  • Make note of what steps and people are involved.
  • Open your eyes.
  • Write down any tasks you need to complete to achieve them.

Minute 5:

  • Return your attention to the present.
  • Ask: What is this day about?
  • What are the top 3 results you need to achieve for the day to feel both successful and fulfilling?
  • Write your top 3 results down.

Minute 6:

  • Set a clear, powerful intention for your day.
  • Get clear on your reasons why achieving your top 3 results is so important and how it will serve many areas of your life.
  • Visualize yourself taking purposive action, things going exactly as you want.
  • See yourself alert, engaged and performing to a high level.
  • Rehearse it in your mind several times.

Minute 7:

  • Stand up again and walk for 1 minute paying special attention to how your foot to toe strikes the ground. Become absorbed in this.
  • As you do take 3 deep breaths in and s-l-o-w-l-y exhale.
  • Continue to walk.
  • Finally bring your attention to rest on your 1st most important goal for the day.
  • Schedule a block of time in to get it done.
  • Go grab breakfast!

This simple 7 minute process will leave you feeling relaxed, rejuvenated and highly focused.

P.S. : Source unknown. Copied content.

Risk Taking is the Way to Get What You Want

 Risk Taking Is the Way to Get What You Want : By Dr. Alan Zimmerman 

    Everything you want in life requires risk. If you want friends, for example, you've got to take the risk of introducing yourself, starting conversations, and showing interest in others. Of course, the people you choose might not be interested in you. That's the risk. But without taking the risk, you're left alone. 
    The same is true at work. Everything you want at work requires risk. If you want a promotion, for example, if you want a position with more responsibility, challenge and money, you'll have to take the risk of doing more than what you 're being paid to do. Of course, management may not notice and may not reward all your extra effort, and you may upset your colleagues who are doing just enough to get by.
    That's life. Not every risk pays off. But taking intelligent, constructive risks will work much more often than sitting around waiting for things to happen. 
    So what's the problem? Most people are addicted to one or more comfort zones. In fact, they're so used to doing certain things in a particular way that they even get defensive when you suggest a different way or a better way of doing things. The risk avoider will tell you, "I'm getting by. I don't need to be a risk taker. Things aren't that bad." 
    Well, things probably aren't that good either ... if you're not an active, constructive risk taker. Your comfort zone may be killing you ... and you may not even know it. For example, when you stay stuck in your comfort zone...

1. You damage your mental health.
    After two years of research, Dr. Bruce Larson discovered that poor mental health and comfort-zone living go hand-in-hand. If you wimp your way through life, stuck in your comfort zone, afraid of change, afraid of risk, you cannot have great self-respect.
    Think about it. If you go around saying things like: "I couldn't do that," or "I've always done it this way," you're killing off the very drive you need to achieve the bigger and better things in life. As Larson writes in his book There's a Lot More to Health Than Not Being Sick, when you think and talk along those lines, you're committing emotional suicide.
    In the book, Taking Charge, Richard Leider and James Harding refer to emotional suicide as "inner kill." They define inner kill as "dying without knowing it" and "coping rather than living." It's a matter of taking the safe way, avoiding decisions, daydreaming about the future, talking about the life you'd like, and taking no risks whatsoever to make it happen. You simply cannot feel good about yourself if that's the way you live.
    Emotionally, you use it or you lose it. You either take risks or you lose your ability to take risks. You can take risks to get what you want ... which will ... in turn ... build your self-confidence to take more risks. Or you can fail to take risks ... which will diminish your self-confidence so much you won't even think you could take a risk.
It's a downward cycle that you don't want to get on. If you don't take enough risks...
2. You damage your relationships.
    Once you've damaged your emotional health and self-esteem, your lack of risk-taking begins to damage your relationships. After all, strong, healthy relationships are built on the risks of openness and honesty, but if you don't take those risks, you're headed for trouble. You'll never experience true love and real intimacy, no matter how long you've been married or been with someone if you play it too safe.
    Unfortunately, it's difficult to take the relational risks of openness and honesty ... because someone's going to get hurt at one point or another. And the most natural response to hurt is to pull back ... and stop taking the risks you need to take to build your relationships.
    You might even get to the point where you say, "I've been hurt enough. I no longer trust my husband (or my wife, or all males, or all females, or all managers, or all whomever). No more hurt for me." You might pull back in hopes of keeping out the hurt, but you also keep out the closeness. Quite simply, without risk, there is no intimacy.
    Joyce H. Irminger says it quite well in her poem, Risk...
How carefully I guard the core of me--
The part I know is me,
The tender part that feels.

Letting others have glimpses only now and then--
The fear is much too great,
The hurt has come too often.

And yet how eagerly I want to share--
When I feel trusting,
When I sense caring.

The task is now to take the risk--
Not just to let others in,
But most of all, to let me out!
    In addition to the loss of intimacy, you'll also lose the respect of others if you're a risk avoider. Imagine going to your boss and saying, "I have a great idea on how we can change our department to become more productive and profitable." You give your idea only to have your boss say, "We've never done that kind of thing before. We've always done it this way." How would you feel? You'd feel disappointed, and you wouldn't feel a great deal of respect for your boss.
    There's no way you'd be thinking, "That's the kind of boss I want. She has such vision, such foresight. She inspires me. I want to follow her!" No! You wouldn't be inspired by your boss' fear. At best you'd feel sorry for her, but you wouldn't be inspired by her. You don't respect someone whose life, whose career, and whose decisions are based on fear.
    I learned that from my great aunt. Auntie was never married and lived in a small town of five hundred people. The town had one hardware store, one grocery store, and five bars -- like a lot of towns in Wisconsin. Auntie owned the hardware store.
    When I was a kid of six, ten, twelve years of age, I would go live with Auntie, because she let me work in the store. I loved it. I waited on the farmers, packaged up the bolts and nails, and played with the cash register. I felt grown-up.
    As I got older, I began to feel sorry for Auntie. Auntie was a full-blooded Norwegian, which was not the part I felt sorry for. She spoke Norwegian. In fact everyone in town spoke Norwegian. They ate all the ethnic foods of lutefisk and lefse. What I felt sorry for was her tiny, restricted comfort zone. All her life Auntie kept saying: "I want to go to Norway. I want to see my cousin in Norway. I want to travel. I want to see the United States." The truth is, Auntie never went anywhere. Even though she had plenty of money and could have afforded to travel, even though she had no husband or kids holding her back, even though she had employees who could have watched the store, Auntie always had her excuses.
    I encouraged her to go. I had gone to Norway at age 18, had hitchhiked through the country, and had met her relatives. I kept saying, "Auntie, you'd love it. Your relatives are wonderful. So welcoming. The scenery is awesome. You'd love it. Go for it."
    But Auntie always had her excuses. She would say she was a single woman and had no one to take her. So I suggested she go with one of her Norwegian friends in town, but she replied that they had their husbands, their kids, and they couldn't pack up and leave. I suggested she go with a tour group, saying she wouldn't be alone then. She said, "Yeah. There are tour groups, but you never know the weirdos you meet in those groups." A couple of times I almost had her convinced to go, but she would reply, "What if the furnace would go out? What if the water pipes would freeze? Who would pick up the mail at the post office?" Excuse after excuse. 
    In short, if you want more of anything in life, you'll find it outside your comfort zone. But if you refuse to take a risk ... if you refuse to leave your comfort zone ... just remember you won't get a free ride in life. It will damage your mental health and your relational health. 
    Are you sure you want to do that? If yes,
What are two constructive risks you can and need to take?
When are you going to do it?

P.S.:- Copied Content

Be True to Yourself

 To be true to yourself means to act in accordance with who you are and what you believe.

    If you know and love yourself you will find it effortless to be true to yourself.  Just as you cannot love anyone else until you love yourself, you cannot be true to anyone else until  you are true to yourself.

Be who you are! 

    Have the courage to accept yourself as you really are, not as as someone else  thinks you should be. Do not take action or pretend to be someone else for the sake of  gaining acceptance.

    Many young people believe that when they do things to please their peers, such as drink when they shouldn't, or behave and party in inappropriate ways, they will be popular and liked. They go against the advice of their parents or their own common sense only to find themselves in trouble and not accomplishing what they set out to do.

    When you do things that are not genuine or a reflection of the real you, you will not be happy with yourself and will end up confused. You'll be confused because you won't know whom to please, or how.

    Self-respect comes from being true to who you really are and from acting in accordance with your fundamental nature. When you respect yourself, others will respect you. They will sense that you are strong and capable of standing up for yourself and your beliefs. When you are true to yourself, you allow your individuality and uniqueness to shine through. You respect the opinions of others but do not conform to stereotypes or their expectations of you.

To be true to yourself takes courage.

    It requires you to be introspective, sincere, open-minded and fair. It does not mean that you are inconsiderate or disrespectful of others. It means that you will not let others define you or make decisions for you that you should make for yourself.

    Be true to the very best that is in you and live your life, consistent with your highest values and aspirations. Those who are most successful in life have dared to creatively express themselves and in turn, broaden the experiences and perspectives of everyone else.

Tips On Being True to Yourself:
  • Be who you are, be your genuine self.
  • Follow your own value system and common sense.
  • Listen to the advice of others, but make up your own mind.
  • Recognize, appreciate, and develop your unique talents.
  • Stand up for what you believe in and you will gain respect.
  • Know that being 'different' is a gift.
  • Understand that you are enriching others by being Yourself.
P.S. :- Copied Content. Source Unknown.

The Tablecloth : Things happen for a Reason

 A Beautiful story.... makes you understand that things happen for a reason....

    The brand new pastor (a priest/father/cleric), newly assigned to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve. 

    They worked hard, repairing pews (a long bench with a back, to sit inside a church), plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished. 

    On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm - hit the area and lasted for two days. On the 21st, the pastor went over to see. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high.

    The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity--a street market selling second hand goods, so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored crocheted Tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and designs embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.

    By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later.

    She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc, to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.

    Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet. "Pastor," she asked, "where did you get that Tablecloth?" He  explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials 'EBG' were crocheted into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria. 

    The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten "The Tablecloth". The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. He was captured, sent to prison and she never saw her husband or her home again.

    The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home. That was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a house-cleaning job. 

    What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return.

    One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood, continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn't leaving.

    The man asked him where he got the Tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to the one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike?.. 

    He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety.  And he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison. He never saw his wife or his home again in all the 35 years between.

    The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier. He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine

True story - Submitted by Pastor Rob Reid ,who says, God does work in mysterious ways. His love is always with you.

P.S. :- Content Copied. Source Unknown.

Leap of Faith

 A LEAP OF FAITH : An Inspiring Story

    Once a man got lost in a desert. The water in his flask had run out two days ago, and he was on his last legs. He knew that if he didn't get some water soon, he would surely die. The man saw a small hut ahead of him. He thought it would be a mirage or maybe a hallucination, but having no other option, he moved toward it. As he got closer he realized it was quite real. So he dragged his tired body to the door with the last of his strength.

    The hut was not occupied and seemed like it had been abandoned for quite some time. The man entered into it, hoping against hope that he might find water inside. His heart skipped a beat when he saw what was in the hut: a water hand pump.. It had a pipe going down through the floor, perhaps tapping a source of water deep under-ground. 

    He began working the hand pump, but no water came out. He kept at it and still nothing happened. Finally he gave up from exhaustion and frustration. He threw up his hands in despair. It looked as if he was going to die after all. 

    Then the man noticed a bottle in one corner of the hut. It was filled with water and corked up to prevent evaporation. He uncorked the bottle and was about to gulp down the sweet life-giving water when he noticed a piece of paper attached to it. Handwriting on the paper read: "Use this water to start the pump. Don't forget to fill the bottle when you're done."

    He had a dilemma. He could follow the instruction and pour the water into the pump, or he could ignore it and just drink the water. 

    What to do? If he let the water go into the pump, what assurance did he have that it would work? What if the pump malfunctioned? What if the pipe had a leak? What if the underground reservoir had long dried up? 

    But then... maybe the instruction was correct. Should he risk it? If it turned out to be false, he would be throwing away the last water he would ever see. Hands trembling, he poured the water into the pump. Then he closed his eyes, said a prayer, and started working the pump.

    He heard a gurgling sound, and then water came gushing out, more than he could possibly use. He luxuriated in the cool and refreshing stream. He was going to live!!

    After drinking and feeling much better, he looked around the hut. He found a pencil and a map of the region. The map showed that he was still far away from civilization, but at least now he knew where he was and which direction to go.

    He filled his flask for the journey ahead. He also filled the bottle and put the cork back in. Before leaving the hut, he added his own writing below the instruction: "Believe me, it works!" 

Moral :
    This story is all about life. It teaches us that we must give before we can receive abundantly. More importantly, it also teaches that faith plays an important role in giving. The man did not know if his action would be rewarded, but he proceeded regardless. Without knowing what to expect, he made a leap of faith. 

    Water in this story represents the good things in life. Something that brings a smile to your face. It can be  intangible knowledge or it can represent money, love, family, friendship, happiness, respect, or any number of other things you value. Whatever it is that you would like to get out of life, that's water. 

    The water pump represents the workings of the karmic mechanism. Give it some water to work with, and it will return far more than you put in.

In the END,we only REGRET the CHANCES we DIDN'T TAKE !!!!
So Take the PLUNGE !!!

P.S. :- Content copied. Source Unknown.

The Art of Self Acceptance

 Love Yourself : The Art of Self Acceptance

    To love yourself means to accept yourself as you are and to come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change. It means to have self-respect, a positive self-image and unconditional self-acceptance.

    Needless to say, it does not mean being arrogant, conceited or thinking that you are better than anyone else. It means having a healthy regard for yourself knowing that you are a worthy human being.

    It is important to remind ourselves that no one is perfect. We all have strengths and weaknesses and we certainly possess the resources to work on improving ourselves. Each of us is unique and has specific talents and abilities to offer. We are all here, in the words of Walt Whitman, "to contribute a verse".

    In order to appreciate yourself it is up to you to discover what makes you unique and to further develop those talents. We have a responsibility to ourselves to do so.

    You cannot sit around and wait for approval from others. Work on accepting yourself. You are the only "you" that you have. It is in your best interests to be the best you can be.

    Until you love yourself, you will not be able to love anyone else. You can only love another to the degree that you do yourself.

How do you love yourself?

    You do so by investing in and working on your personal growth and development. You work on being the best you. You understand that you are human, but you acknowledge that you have the potential and spiritual capability to rise above whatever conditions and obstacles are put in your path.

    When you love yourself you endeavor to take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. You take care to look and feel your best by nurturing your body, mind and spirit.

    Conversely, if you don't love yourself enough, start taking care of your body, mind, and spirit. You will not only become more self-aware, you will generate feelings of worth and accomplishment.

Your Body

    You take care of your body by eating well, exercising and getting plenty of rest. There are many wonderful books available that can help you learn what types of food and exercise are good for you and your particular body type.

Your Mind

    Your mind needs nourishment and exercise too. Don't take it for granted. Stimulate it by learning about new and interesting things. Keeping your mind active helps prevent certain old age diseases such as Alzheimer's and dementia. Keeping the neural connections of your mind active helps maintain memory and brain functions at optimum levels.
Your Spirit

If you take care of your mind and body but neglect your spirit, you will lack balance and feel that something is missing in your life. Taking care of your spirit rejuvenates you, and helps you deal with the daily stresses and challenges of everyday life.

When you love yourself, you invest in your personal growth and development. You endeavor to be the best that you can be, and you strive to achieve your potential.

P.S. :- Copied Content. Source Unknown.

Dream of a night : "A terrific journey"

    It was a Sunday afternoon and I was on my way to Howrah from Home. I was getting late for the train and running towards the platform to catch it. Even after such a struggle, I could not catch the train. The next train was in the night and I did not have any reserved ticket for that train. So I decided to travel by Bus.

    I went to the bus stand and took the ticket. The Bus was supposed to leave the stand around 9PM in the evening. I had my dinner and entered into the Bus. I was enjoying songs from my mobile phone. It was around 11 PM, when a tall man wake me up and I shouted why someone disturbed me. I heard him saying it was his seat. What? How it is possible? How can I be in a wrong bus. I showed my ticket to the conductor and told that I am in the right bus. After a long spat with the conductor, I was convinced that I was in a different bus, which was going to Tata instead of Howrah. The conductor told that the bus depot has buses with same number, like OR22-A-6175, OR22-E-6175 and OR22-V-6175 from the same owner.

    Having such a long spat with the conductor, he forced me to get down from the bus in the mid night, on a small bus stop, somewhere on the route in Mayurbhanja district. With very weak telephone signal and no internet, I was unable to locate myself. Totally clueless, I was searching for some help and to my help there was a small beetle shop opened, serving the last customer for the night.

    I told my whole story and the mental trauma that I was going through. He told that all the buses to Howrah has passed the location and no direct bus was available to Howrah. It was the time, when I noticed a Volvo bus was coming. The shopkeeper suggested me to catch the bus and get down at the nearest railway station, which was nearly 70KM from there. Just to avoid any more wrong travel, I sat in the cabin, beside the helper.

     After a few stops, when I looked back inside the bus, I found no seats inside. There were few passengers inside, all seating on the mat spread on the floor, few goats, a bicycle, a bike.
In one of the stops, the biker just jumped out of the bus with his bike. I got frightened, as there was no wall in the bus, instead only curtains hanging from top. On the way, one-by-one, all the passengers got down from the bus and there were only 3 of us, the driver, helper and me.

     The fear was worsening and I was holding my breathe. Now came the dawn and the sun started rising above the horizon , when I saw one of my school friends on the road with his bicycle. It seemed like I got back my life, when he told that I am on the right way and he was there for picnic with family.

     Within next 20 minutes, the bus entered a town and dropped me at the railway station. The last thing that I remember that, I was running towards the station with an almost empty water bottle in my hand.

Note:- A true dream with very little changes to fit into a blog.

Strategies to Disagree at work without harming relationships

    Disagreements will happen from time to time, regardless of how well a team works together. However, conflicts shouldn't result in destroyed relationships or grudges.

    It’s important for professionals to know how to prevent a situation from escalating and get their point across without becoming rude or arrogant in their words and actions. While resolving disagreements on a positive note can take a bit more work, the end result is a happier relationship and workplace.

Below are few strategies for dealing with disagreements in a respectful manners:

1. Make Them Feel Seen And Heard:

     You are going to come to a disagreement with a colleague at some point, and that's just part of the human experience. But when communicating those disagreements with another person, it's crucial to make them feel seen and heard. A lot of the time, a disagreement can remain an amicable conversation when you simply validate the other person's point of view. This shows that you respect their perspective even though you don't agree with it. It's also easier for them to understand your point of view when they know that you've heard them out and have listened from every angle.

2. Try To Stay Impersonal With Facts:

    It's possible to convey your disagreement with your colleague without ruffling feathers. You need to learn to phrase your feelings well and also focus on facts rather than make personal comments. For example, if you disagree on which supplier to pick and your colleague is invested in picking a particular one, acknowledge their feelings. But don't back down from your opinions either. Saying things like "I'm uncomfortable with..." or "If we look at these numbers..." removes any accusatory tone in your communication. With practice, you can make disagreements impersonal and focus on what's best for the business as a whole.


3. Avoid Absolute Statements:

    If you want to come across amicably, it's best to qualify everything you say. This reinforces that what you're disagreeing for is merely a matter of perspective. In doing this, you make room for your colleague to change their mind. If you present whatever you're saying as an absolute fact, then you'll alienate your colleague who will likely become defensive and push back. So, don't say things like, "That's not right. Actually, we should do this." Instead, try qualifying your argument with, "I take your point, but this is how I see it..." If you present your view this way, it minimizes the chances of your colleague becoming defensive and increases the chance that they come to your side.


4. Approach From A Different Viewpoint:

    Approaching the situation from a different viewpoint is one way to disagree with a colleague in a polite manner without offending them. Whenever you disagree with someone, try to be tactful by asking them in a respectful tone to look at the issue or circumstance from your point of view. Then evaluate each approach to see which one will produce the best outcome.


5. Pause And Come Back To It Later:

    One helpful thing to do is to take a pause in the conversation and come back to it later. When you're in the middle of a disagreement, it's easy to get excited and block the other person's viewpoint. It goes the same the other way around. So, taking a break and revisiting the conversation after a day or two can help you think more clearly and offer more rational counterpoints. It also gives you the time to really understand your colleague's viewpoint.


6. Make Disagreeing Part Of The Creative Process:

    For every idea you work on, try setting a rule of finding at least few counter-reasons why it won't work. Having a culture that is constantly playing devil's advocate can disarm the casual disagreements and feel like an organic response as opposed to a clash. You can set the expectation that even when something sounds perfect and it's not easy to find a reason against it, you must still find at least few things that are wrong before it moves forward. In most cases, this is harder than it sounds, but it is an extremely effective way to develop ideas and solutions to problems while also working as a way to mediate real clashes that might normally strike someone as offensive.


7. Listen To Them Without Interruption First:

    Disagreements become quarrels when you don't listen. Even if you disagree with someone, let them speak their mind uninterrupted. Give them the space to articulate their vision and then, once they're done talking, you talk. Interruption is the root of all quarrels. It's disrespectful.


8. Try To Find Common Ground:

    You can disagree in a respectful manner. Disagreeing shouldn't be frowned upon. Instead, work towards finding common ground. What can you agree upon and how can you focus on the agreements more than the disagreements? 


    For example: If a colleague doesn't agree with how you are handling a customer service incident, then find things about that situation you can agree on and then agree to disagree on the rest. You probably both agree that the customer's satisfaction matters. You also likely agree that you want to represent the company well in whatever response you have. The matter you disagree on shouldn't steal all the focus of the conversation. Be sure that you remember you're on the same side in a lot of ways.


Hope, the blog will help many in handling disagreement at work place.


Credit: The post is taken from another website. I do not hold any right on this topic.

The Hospital Window: A Short Story

    Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation and other personal matters.

    Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

    The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene. His smile was growing with every new piece of detail told to him.

    One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days, weeks and months passed, and it became a daily routine.

    One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

    As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall.

    The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate, who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he described such wonderful things because he just wanted to encourage you."

Life lessons: 

  • Grief when shared, it half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

  • There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

  • The Hospital Window teaches us that we always need to strive to make someone else happy. The picture of seeing someone else smiling because of us is priceless. It warms our hearts and fills our souls with positive energy. 


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